Ainsley

Ainsley was born 9 lbs.10 oz.. beautiful.. very quiet, little cry. I could here the other babies in the maternity ward wailing.. Ainsley just cried softly. Kelly and I had considered ourselves lucky. After she received a "clean bill of health", we were sent home the next day. She was perfect. Awake an hour.. asleep for three. She ate every hour, falling asleep at my breast. Within a week, she gradually began to sleep more, and eat less. Eventually, she would not latch on to my breast at all. I took her to our doctor, she was diagnosed with "gas" and we went home frustrated. Kelly and I were not convinced. God would not let us shake the feeling that something was wrong. Later that day, I called my lactation consultant. I thought maybe I was doing something wrong, or I wasn't producing enough milk to satisfy her). She told me to bring her down so she could watch her feed. So began the night that would change our lives forever.

Ainsley was sent right away to the ER, where they monitored her heart, her breathing, etc.. At that point they thought she had either a spinal infection, or heart problems. She was transferred by ambulance to our nearest hospital that specialized in pediatric cardiology. Kelly and I followed closely, praying, crying, trying to console each other when we both felt like we were going to fall apart. We found out later that morning that Ainsley was in congestive heart failure. It was bad. Her heart was full of holes, and we had had no idea. She also had an ASD. Both required open heart surgery right away... she was just two weeks old. What had I done? Why had this happened. I hadn't touched alcohol... never smoked a cigarette in my life. I thought I had been so careful during pregnancy. My baby's heart was defective, and it was my fault somehow, right. I couldn't get the thought out of my head that our baby was going to die because of me. Then I prayed, and the doctors talked with me. No one understands why this happens... but it's usually just a fluke. No history of heart defects on either side... it came out of nowhere. God gave me peace about my guilt. He took it from me so I could concentrate on our baby. I had faith that God would take care of her, either here on earth with us, or in heaven with Him.

Well, God wanted her to stick around here. Ainsley came through both her surgeries with strength I didn't think a newborn baby could have. A hundred times stronger than both her dad and I put together. God had used her surgeon, Dr. Leonard Bailey, to save her life, and give Kelly and I a new hope and strengthened faith in Him. She is our miracle baby.

At a year and a half old, Ainsley has once again received a " clean bill of health" and this time, it's true. She is as bright as the sun. She looks like her Daddy, but I think she got my brains (ha ha). But we know one thing for sure... she has the heart of an angel.

Praise be to God.