Cayman Sinjin

My husband and I had been married for two years and decided we wanted to start our family. We were in the process of buying our new home and I took the pregnancy test on Nov. 9, 2005 the day we moved in. It was positive—we were excited and scared. The feeling was surreal! We were going to be parents!

We found out 2/20/06 that we were having a boy! We were so excited and proud and ready to start finding the perfect name for our baby. During the ultrasound the technician could not get a good view of his heart so we were told they would get them at the next appointment, which was 3/20/06. I had a very good pregnancy aside from the usual heartburn, swelling, and being uncomfortable, etc. I am short, so my belly really stuck out there! I got the question about "are you sure you aren't having twins?" all the time. My due date was 7/12/06 and that came and went with out any real contractions or dilatation. At my appointment on 7/20/06 I was told I was still not dilated but I was 100 % effaced. My doctor and I decided to try induction. I never dilated past a 3, my water broke and there was meconium in the water so they decided to do a c-section.

Our handsome, big boy Cayman was born into this world on July 22, 2006 at 3:30 pm, weighing 8 lbs. 7 oz. and 21 inches long. He was suctioned to get out the meconium and his Apgar scores were 8 & 9. He was beautiful, his color was pink and he was alert. Dad fed him his first bottle, and he took 1 oz. I was in awe and so in love with my baby! The whole family joined us in recovery and everyone got to see and hold Cayman. It was the most joyous and proud day of my life!

In the hospital Cayman was doing fine. He wasn't a real good eater. He wouldn't eat a lot at each feeding. He really needed to be burped a lot. So he was fed in shorter intervals. The nurses seemed to be a little concerned about this. So in turn, I felt sensitive to this. The nurses worked with me to get him to feed a bit better. He would suck his hands pretty good when he was hungry so sucking wasn't a problem. This also concerned me: he would almost fall asleep right after feeding and I would have to try and keep him awake to burp him. I was told to unwrap him to get him more alert to burp by the nurses, so that eased me a bit. By the time we left the hospital 3 days after his birth, July 25, he was doing well and eating almost 2 oz. at each feeding.

We went home and everything was fine. I kept a journal of everything, from his diaper change/content and feeding. He would take a little over an ounce or so per feeding. I figured it was the adjustment to the new environment, etc. We were exhausted but very happy. I loved being a mother! I never dreamed I would feel so fulfilled in my life.

Cayman's first appointment at the pediatrician was July 28, and he was asleep for almost the whole appointment. Everything checked out fine. I asked some general questions about feeding and my concern for him not taking as much formula as he had been taking in the hospital. The doctor assured me that Cayman was gaining weight so he was getting the proper nutrition. That eased my worrying about this.

I had started to notice around July 31st that he again had decreased the amount of formula he had been taking to about 1 oz, sometimes he would only eat .5 oz. When he was feeding, his chest was really working up and down. This concerned me. I thought maybe he could be congested and maybe that's why he isn't eating as much? I called the pediatrician that day and they said bring him in the following day, Aug. 1st at 10 a.m. The morning of August 1, we took Cayman into the pediatrician; I explained my concerns about his breathing being labored while feeding and his not taking as much formula as he had been. We were asked if we had done the nasal saline spray and suction. I told her no, we had not as we had not seen any discharge from his nose. The doctor listened to Cayman's heart and lungs. The nurse checked his pulse oximetry level. She could not find it in his foot but did get a reading from his hand, 97%. We were shown how to do the saline spray and suction and told to do that before bed-time and before eating and to keep him propped up when he wasn't sleeping to help with drainage. We went home with no concerns.

Grammy came over later that day to watch Cayman so my husband could drive me to my 2-week followup for my C-section incision. My appt. went fine. The staff at my OBGYN office gave me flack about not bringing Cayman. But it was a grueling humid day that day and I figured he had already been out in it for his appt. so I decided to let him have his time with Grammy.

The rest of the afternoon and evening went fine.  I was noticing lately that Cayman's fussy time was in the evening. He slept from 6:30-9:30pm on my chest. That is the most beautiful feeling in this world—I will not ever forget that feeling. The world stopped and I was in pure bliss. I fed Cayman almost an ounce at 10 pm and burped him, he cried a bit. He had been consolable in the days before but this night seemed a bit different now looking back—I can see. His cry was a little different like it was frustration; I also saw this in his eyes when he cried looking at me. He fell asleep just after 10.

Cayman woke up from sleeping just before 11 pm and then cried a little bit, we offered him a bottle he was fussy, crying a little. When he settled down we decided to try the nasal suction. He was in my arms and my husband tried to suction and there was no drainage. Cayman was fussy as he didn't like the suctioning. He was crying a bit and then suddenly he appeared pale in color, I panicked, I yelled to dh to call 911 (11:03 pm), Cayman's eyes rolled. It looked like he was having a seizure. The worst thought I had was brain damage from lack of oxygen. It never entered my mind that he could die! Cayman became unconscious—he stopped breathing! He was in my arms. I took the phone to talk to 911 and my husband whisked Cayman into the nursery and started CPR. EMT finally arrived and Cayman was rushed to the hospital, (he had no vitals). We followed the ambulance to the hospital. We were in pure shock, like we were not really there, but watching from the outside. It didn't seem real but inside—my heart felt that it was. We arrived to the hospital and my husband dropped me off and parked the car. There was a woman outside the empty ambulance where Cayman had been transported. She asked, "Are you the mother?" I said yes crying and running inside, she took me in a room and some of my family was there already. They asked for my license and insurance card, and took me right in where Cayman was. There was SO MANY medical staff in that room. I knew it was bad. My heart felt ripped out. They tried resuscitating Cayman for as long as they could, I was numb the entire time. My husband and I and all of our family were in that room holding onto each other. I heard medical staff charting (out loud) dosages/times of medicines for Cayman and then a doctor said quietly to another that there was no electrical activity in the heart per a heart ultrasound. The monitor showed a straight horizontal line. I knew what that meant but couldn't let myself believe it! I couldn't think and I couldn't look. There were so many doctors and hospital staff around Cayman I couldn't bear to look. The nurse gave me Cayman's socks and I held them to me. One of the doctors on staff called me over....I knew what this was, oh no, not this....it was just like on TV, when they tell you the HORRIFIC news. BUT WORSE! She took my hand and said we have all done everything we could and we are very sorry. Time stood still for that moment, I will never forget that.

My husband immediately broke down sobbing, sobbing that scared me. We held each other and cried the saddest tears ever. We told each other we would "get through this" and that we loved each other. They were getting Cayman ready for us. He was wrapped up in a blanket and had the tube in his mouth. They couldn't take it out and I was mad at that. For hours we kissed and held him. Nurses from the baby center came down and took his hand and foot prints for us. They were so sad too, everyone was. The whole ER staff was crying.

I never wanted to leave that hospital. We were a very sad couple leaving without our baby. I regret not spending more time with Cayman. I should have unwrapped him and kissed his whole body head to toe. I was scared, in shock and numb. I did the best I could in the situation at that time.

Cayman's funeral was August 5, 2006. It was a beautiful, personalized ceremony with many family speakers. His life touched so many people that didn't even know him or had not yet met him. He has thought us many lessons in life and how fragile life is. We will grieve for him until we die and our souls are reunited.

We waited over two long months for the autopsy results. Cayman died of undiagnosed Coarctation of the Aorta (pinched aorta). The pediatric cardiologist that read the pathology reports to us explained that when Cayman's Patent Ductus Arteriosus (PDA) closed (this happens naturally to every newborn), it then narrowed the area where the aorta was already pinched; therefore, it acted as a noose.  No blood could get to his body and his heart went into failure.  We were told that this type of defect is very hard to detect via in utero ultrasound.  The only chance to have this defect diagnosed would have been a neonatal echocardiogram.  Currently, newborn hearts are not screened after birth. Some of the symptoms of congenital heart defects in newborns are: poor feeding, falling asleep while feeding, no femoral pulse, baby is blue in color, labored breathing, poor weight gain. Cayman experienced 4 of these symptoms. 

As bereaved parents we believe it is our responsibility to share Cayman's story to increase awareness of congenital heart defects and to educate other parents and medical professionals about the signs and symptoms of congenital heart defects so others do not lose their precious baby.  

Your Momma and Dad miss you and love you so much Cayman!  You will never be forgotten.